Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Cheating Spouse Investigations - Infidelity Warning Signs & Investigation Tools

It is strange how people now view infidelity as it has almost become an expected behavior. It is amazing that businesses and individuals spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on protecting their assets from theft, yet we feel uncomfortable about protecting are biggest asset, our spouse.

Just for a second, lets forget about the emotional impact infidelity may cause and lets figure out the monetary value of your relationship, and what you stand to lose if that partner went away. Could you afford to lose 50% of the value of everything you own? Could you continue your standard of living if you lost your spouses income? Would you need additional assistance with child care? Would you need to find another residence?

There is just so much to lose. Being prepared for that loss emotionally and financially, before a cheating partner takes everything away, can only help. This article will provide information to identify signs of infidelity, and equipment helpful in gathering evidence of infidelity.

Warnings Signs:
  • Does your partner suddenly care more about their appearance?
    Are they working out more and are they buying new clothing and sexy undergarments (thongs,g-string,etc)?
  • Is your partner more concerned with your schedule?
  • Is he or she spending more time on the computer when you are in bed?
  • When you interrupt computer activity does he or she quickly click through pages using the mouse?
  • If you have access to cell phone activity, do you see similar numbers showing up at specific times, such as during breaks, lunch, or while transporting to and from work?
  • If you dont have access to cell phone activity, when you ask for the activity, does your partner get defensive and is quick with responses of anger and statements such as “dont you trust me!”?
  • Is your partner, all of sudden, working longer or unusual hours?
  • Are you receiving frequent private calls when the caller hangs up when you answer?
  • Are you noticing odd vehicles parked down the street from you?
  • Are more of your cell phone calls to your partner going to voice mail?
  • When your partner comes home, does he or she immediately go elsewhere to change, use the bathroom, or go elsewhere in the home first before approaching you?
  • Does your partner own a calling card?

Investigation Tools:

If possible, never reveal or confront partner during mid investigation. Wait until you have as much factual evidence so you can dispute any comebacks, lies, or excuses the partner may reveal during the confrontation.

Furthermore, try to prepare yourself for less emotion during the confrontation. Approach yourself as an investigator. You want to present facts and watch and learn from your partners emotional reaction. Their reaction may reveal how you should take the next step in your relationship.

Always remember when your partner is guilty, they will always try to lay the blame on you. You should never feel guilty for your partner's infidelity.

License Plate Number Search - Avoiding Scam Sites

You have just become a victim of a crime, and despite your loss you feel slight comfort in the fact that you were able to attain the license plate number on the vehicle driven by the person who victimized you.

Now you go to the internet for help in possibly identifying the criminal. On the internet, you find numerous sites that either provide instant record searches or promise unlimited searches. Your slightly confused, but your able to do some research in price comparison, and you go with the site that appears to be the cheapest. You even do a preliminary search with this site by entering the license plate number and state , and the site states they have a record for you. All you need to do now is to pay a membership fee. Hey, no big deal, the payment convers searches for an entire year. So you pay it.

Then comes the confusion. Your either linked to another site that wants another payment per record, or your provided company site links to choose where to purchase the record from.

Wait a minute! Didn't you just pay for the record? They said they had it, and all you had to do is pay the membership. This ain't right!! Oh no, you just been victimized again!!!

Knowing Scam / Misleading Sites:

How were these sites created?
Since the beginning of the web, people have always come up with unique ways to make money. It began innocently as an information resource which was soon followed by companies with sites trying to reach more customers. Then came advertising soon followed by individually owned sites. Soon anyone could have a site, including anyone who wanted to make money. Individuals with sites quickly found ways to advertise on their site pages which included pop up ads or advertising banners that linked people to other sites. Then came the ultimate idea of charging people just to view their site and links. They would then call it an exclusive membership, and that all the professionals and experts use and endorse them.

What do membership sites generally do?
Someone in the beginning got an idea that they could make money by having people join there site. The site would provide some general information and include links to other sites so people could find whatever they needed. First came sites such as Net Detective and Web Detective. Soon after a few years, dozens of these sites appeared such license plate search, reverse license plate lookup, government records, unlimited searches, instant backgrounds, reverse phone, and so on and so on (just about anything with reverse, unlimited, instant, or government in their web address).

What is the problem with these sites?
First, its the way they advertise. They fool customers into buying a membership by making them believe they deliver the information the customer is seeking. The may state they have unlimited access to records, or they may provide an instant search menu where a person enters phone number, license plate number, or name, and then they state they have a record or the information your seeking. Regardless what these sites state, they do not have the information nor do they deliver the record. What ends up happening is that either they provide a list of links for members to choose to go to, or they automatically link the member to another site. In the end, the customer pays money for a middleman to direct them to sites or a site that was already searchable through search engines for free.

Second, they flood the internet with dishonest sites?What happens when you flood the internet with sites that dont deliver what they state? The honest companies get pushed down in search engine rankings, and people just wont trust any site, regardless if the site is legitimate or not.Each day we receive dozens of calls in reference to whether we are legitimate or not. It does not matter how many warnings we post about the member sites, we still get calls from customers complaining that they paid membership fees to 3 different web sites and they did not get what they were promised.

How do I recognize the honest from the dishonest sites?
Very easy - if the site does not provide a phone number to call them, then stay away from that site.

How do I get my money back from these sites?
The best way to attain a refund is to call the phone number associated with the charge. That number should be posted on your paper or online payment card statement. Then state you were misled and you want a full refund. You will be surprised, when these companies receive the call, how fast they process your refund request. Its like they anticipate that your call is about attaining a refund. See, they know what their doing is wrong. There hoping, or better yet, counting on the fact that your are too busy to get your refund.

If calling and asking for a refund does not help, then I would advise disputing the charge with your payment card company. Now, I do not advise doing this initially. Many of these sites have fine print at the bottom page of their site that state what membership covers, and that fine print may be enough for the customer to lose a dispute if the site decides to respond to the chargeback. Plus there is a reason why credit card fees are going way up and more and more internet providers are going to paypal. There are just too many chargebacks being made and lost by customers which take up time and money.

Ken Burbridge
Licensed Detective - State of Indiana
President/Owner - Burbridge Detective Agency
Accredited Member - Better Business Bureau
Member - Nat. Assoc. Investigation Specialist
Burbridge Detective Agency,LLC
1457 E 84th Place
Merrillville, IN 46410
Phone - 219-629-3260
Fax - 219-940-3926
Web - http://www.burbridgepi.com/
Detective License #: PI20700205